WHAT IS MARRIAGE???*


** 1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for
the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and
the woman gets her masters.


4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and
suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the
NEIGHBOUR listens.


6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends.Youorder what you want, and when you see what the other person
has, you wish
you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found
himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found
himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and
the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son,
I'm still paying for it.


10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son,
EVERYWHERE!


11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year
married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.


16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in
Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just
can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try
to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage
the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only
seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL
HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT
HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you
get home before I do, leave the hallway
Lights on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR
RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG
MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends
up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he
received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN
HAVE MINE.


30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.