After so long since i last blogged, around half year... so many many things had happened, eight months to be exact. During these eight months, i lost more than i gain. I never thought that i will had to experience it for another few years to come.. Last November, someone special walked into my life and i will never going to forget it. His name is Choon Hock but later then he got his english name , Cavan.. hardly got people has such name.. maybe that's the one of the reason he is special to me. Before this, whenever i was alone in KL, Cavan can be considered as one of my closest friends. We shared our experiences, play, had fun teasing one another, studied together, stared at the dark night together and ended up, he came in and joined my life. I have never thought of that. It is great to have him around. Unfortunately, happiness won't last long. I gained one important person in life and i had to lose my the other important person in my life. Chinese New Year eve, i guess that was when all the devils started their fight in attacking my grandmother. People says, on the first day of cny, it's very bad luck to break anything. I believed that, while i was preparing to pray before 12 am, in a hurry condition, i accidentally broke two bowls, and i knew something bad was about to happen but i never knew that, it came so fast. The next day, was CNY, i went to visit my granny in hospital as my granny underwent cataract surgery and the nurses said that, my granny lost her conscious around 12 am, which means the same time i broke the bowls and since that days my granny's conditions got worsen from day 1 of Chinese New Year till the last day of Chinese New Year as a result from Septicemia, or bacteria infections leading to multiple organs failure. I really had a nightmare Chinese New Year and i thought i will never going to experience it for another few years and maybe get to know Cavan. Tomorrow, 10th of June 2007, will be the 100th day since i last saw my granny. I really do miss my granny and i really wish i could communicate and talk to her but it just impossible.

We can never guess what will happen the next day, life brief candle.. from William Shakespeare

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.  Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

We can never guess when the wind is going to blow off the candle and no matter what going to happen

tomorrow, we got to be strong and appreciate what we have today. For today, i really wanna tell those that i love, my family members, friends and Cavan that i really love u guys and even if i do not mention it, i still wanna say i'm proud to have you guys part of my life. Thanks for everything, and sorry.. if i ever did anything wrong especially to my parents. Take Care.. n you too, Cavan.. i'm glad to have you by my side..

To my granny, you are my one and only best granny in my life, and you will always live strong and healty in my heart. Here I wish you happy no matter where you go... and i will always love ya too.. Miss ya a million years.. Granny, you were and are the best!!


Best regards,


Josephine Tan